Are You Choosing the Wrong People For Your Life?
May 03, 2023
The most crucial factor determining your success and happiness in life is your relationships. The people you choose to invest in and who choose to invest in you have a significant impact on where you end up in every aspect of your life. Will you let life's current dictate who comes into your life, or will you intentionally steer your course and choose the right people to travel with?
Identify Your Destination:
Before you can choose the right people to be in your life, you must first determine where you want to go. Do you want to be happy, find meaning, be healthy, have fun, grow your faith, learn about a specific topic, or pursue a certain career? Once you have a clear destination in mind, you can better identify the people who can help you get there.
Rule Number 1: Identify the Right People
What do the right people look like? Here are some questions to ask yourself when evaluating potential relationships:
- Is this person successful/happy/good at the area I want to be?
- Is this person continuing to move forward and growing?
- Is this person supportive, challenging, and helpful?
- Does this person bring out the best in me?
- Does this person enjoy forming meaningful relationships?
- Is this person honest with me?
Remember, this doesn't mean you need to eliminate your "fun" or "dysfunctional" friends. They just belong in a different category of your life.
Rule Number 2: Examine Your Magnets
Everyone is drawn to certain people, often due to shared energies or qualities. However, being drawn to someone doesn't always mean it's a good thing. To better understand and improve your "people picker," consider the following:
- Are you able to be present, vulnerable, and receptive to love and emotional connection?
- Do you have strong boundaries and limits that prevent you from being taken advantage of?
- Can you accept your own imperfections, failures, and pains without becoming overly self-critical?
- Do you see others as equals, or do you tend to put them on pedestals?
Recognize and address any patterns or issues that may be drawing you to the wrong people. Establishing clear boundaries is essential to attracting healthy relationships.
Rule Number 3: Find Your People
To find the right people, you must be proactive and intentional in your search. This involves both structured and unstructured approaches:
- Structured: Seek out classes, support groups, or other organized events where you're likely to encounter like-minded individuals.
- Unstructured: Keep an eye out for potential connections in everyday life, and don't hesitate to approach people who seem interesting or valuable to your journey.
Final Thoughts:
Remember that there are different circles of relationships in your life. Your innermost circle should consist of people who support you emotionally and relationally, providing love, meaning, and trust. From there, build out your other circles with people who align with your goals and aspirations. Be intentional about investing time and energy into the relationships that matter most to you.
The people you choose to invest in and who invest in you are the most important decisions you'll ever make. By being proactive, identifying the right people, examining your magnets, and actively seeking out meaningful connections, you can ensure that your life's journey is filled with love, support, and growth.
