Eight Things Readily Available to Make Positive Change

Research shows over and over again that the change-process happens best and most successfully with the help of other people. There are all sorts of scientific reasons for this, from the way the brain works to our biochemistry, but the bottom line is what we get from other people is essential to change. Following are eight essential ingredients for change that we get from other people and from God. They are there for your taking… you just have to reach out and ask.

1. Support: People who support us in making changes give us strength, lending us the encouragement and energy we need to continue when it gets hard.
2. Connection: Making changes sometimes causes us to take difficult stands that threaten some relationships. We need other connections so we are not alone in the conflict.
3. Discipline: Change involves building new muscles that we did not have before, and that always takes discipline. Sometimes “self-discipline” wanes as things get tough; and we need others to keep us on track. We need to be disciplined by and through them.
4. Accountability: When we are accountable to others to follow through on our commitments, our success rate goes up.
5. Forgiveness: Change is usually two steps forward, one back. One of the biggest obstacles to change is the feelings of guilt and discouragement people feel when they fail. The acceptance and forgiveness of others helps us to accept and forgive ourselves and learn from the mistakes we make.
6. Models and Mentors: It is difficult for us to do what we have not seen done. We need people to model new things for us and to show us how to do them. A strong relationship with a few models and mentors makes all the difference.
7. Correction: As much as we hate it, we need to be confronted and corrected at times in the process of change. Words that are hard to hear are sometimes exactly what we need. As Proverbs says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted” (27:6, NIV).
8. Traveling Companions: Research shows that change is “contagious.” Change happens in a strong way when we stay close to others who are making the same changes and accomplishing what we want to accomplish. That is why support networks of people working on similar things are so successful. Research shows this over and over. It normalizes the struggle, we learn from and support each other, and we actually “rub off” on each other, as we influence each other to grow and keep going.