How to Ask for Help and Why It Matters for Your Emotional Well-Being

We live in a world that prizes self-sufficiency. We're often made to feel that needing others is a sign of weakness. But the truth is, we were created for connection and community. Asking for help is not only okay, it's crucial for our emotional and spiritual well-being.

When we ask for help, several important things happen:

1. We develop humility. Requesting support from others reminds us that we are incomplete on our own. This humility opens us up to receive from God and others.
2. We own our needs. Asking is a transaction - we're taking responsibility for our needs while giving the other person freedom to respond as they are able, without obligation.
3. We take initiative. Instead of passively hoping someone will intuit what we need, we actively reach out. This keeps us more in control of getting our needs met.
4. We cultivate gratitude. Those who have been helped are more likely to help others. Receiving produces thankfulness which leads to generosity.
5. We increase the odds of actually getting something. It may seem obvious, but we're much more likely to get our needs met if we express them!

So how do we go about asking for help, especially if it feels foreign or scary? Here's a simple framework:

• Acknowledge the difficulty. "I'm not great at asking for things, but I'm trying to get better at it because I value our relationship."
• Express the need. "I'm in an emotionally difficult place and could really use some support." Be as specific as you can about what you're looking for.
• Invite them in. "If you're open to it, I'd love to spend some time together processing what I'm going through." Or "I'd really appreciate if you could tell me you care about me, even in my weakness."

The key is to ask for relational and emotional support, not just functional help. While it's great to get assistance with practical needs, what fills our souls is feeling seen, loved, and cared for by others.

I encourage you to take a risk this week and practice asking for help from a safe person in your life. It could be as simple as saying, "I've been having a hard time and could use a listening ear. Do you have a few minutes to talk?" Notice how it feels to own your needs and allow yourself to receive from someone who cares about you.

Remember, asking for help isn't selfish or weak - it's a sign of great strength and wisdom. It's how we create the kind of intimate connections our hearts crave. We were made to need each other. The more we can embrace that truth, the more free we'll be to reach out and receive the love and support we need to thrive.