How to Recognize the Signs of Gaslighting

Do you ever feel like someone is causing you to lose your grip on reality? If so, you may be a victim of gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser tries to make the victim question their own version of events, memory, or perception. This can make the victim feel like they're going crazy.

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Gaslighting can happen in any type of relationship, but it is particularly common in romantic relationships and relationships between parents and children. If you're in a relationship where you feel like you're constantly being made to doubt yourself, it's important to recognize the signs of gaslighting so you can get out of the situation.

Here are some of the signs:

• You are confused a lot of the time by what you are experiencing vs what your partner is telling you.
• You start to doubt and question yourself.
• Your view of yourself may change (usually for the worse).
• You might feel like you are doing everything wrong.
• You have the strong sense that something is wrong, but may have a hard time putting your finger on what exactly it is.
• You feel isolated.
• You question your own decisions, where otherwise you might not have.
• You find yourself always apologizing.
• You defend the potential gaslighter’s bad behavior to other people and make excuses for them.
• You feel powerless and hopeless.

One common gaslighting tactic is to deny that certain events took place, or to claim that the victim's memory of them is wrong. This can be done by outright lying, or by selectively providing false information that contradicts the victim's recollection. For example, a gaslighter might claim that they were never angry with the victim, even when there is clear evidence to the contrary.

Another common tactic is to make the victim feel like they are overreacting or being unreasonable. The gaslighter might do this by making dismissive comments, or by acting like the victim's feelings are not valid. For example, a gaslighter might say something like "you're being too sensitive" or "you're just overreacting".

Finally, gaslighters often try to control the victim's access to information or support. This can be done by isolating the victim from their friends and family, or by controlling what information they are exposed to. For example, a gaslighter might prevent the victim from talking to certain people, or might only allow them to see information that supports the gaslighter's point of view.

If you think you are being gaslighted, the first step is to trust your gut. If you have a feeling that something is off, or that someone is trying to manipulate you, there is a good chance that they are.

The second step is to start keeping track of what is happening. Write down or keep a journal of the things that are making you feel uncomfortable or suspicious. This can be helpful in spotting patterns and helping you to see the situation more clearly.

The third step is to reach out to someone you trust for support. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or any other person who you feel safe talking to. It can be helpful to talk to someone who can offer an objective perspective and can help you to make sense of what is going on.