Misplaced Feelings of Care
Feb 24, 2023
Codependency is a pattern of unhealthy and potentially dangerous relationship behaviors that can turn your life upside down. Typically, one person is the dependent, and the other is the enabler. The enabler may often find themselves engaging in behaviors such as people pleasing, or find themselves constantly apologizing for or justifying the bad behavior of the dependent person. This comes up in relationships with addicts, it can happen in friendships, romantic relationships, among families, and many other types of relationships.
One of the most difficult things about ending codependency is that it tugs at your heart. One of the key reasons that many people become codependent in the first place is because they care so much. We don't want to hurt those we care about. When we believe that someone actually needs help, the last thing we want to do is abandon them, and that's why it can become so difficult.
When it comes to misplaced feelings of care, one of the crucial dynamics to be aware of is the difference between healthy care and over-responsibility.
Key Takeaways:
-Each person has to do their part
-You can't solve their part of the problem
-Be responsible TO someone, not FOR someone
-You can't do the work for them, but you can provide care: knowledge/wisdom, workbooks, etc.
