Move Away From Spiritual Abuse

I believe that all of life comes from the spiritual life. The spiritual life is the real life. Everything we see comes from the unseen. It's sort of like when you see a really tall, impressive building. Where did it come from? It came from forces that you can't see. A little girl playing with blocks as a child becomes an architect and one day designs this building. All of life is like that, the things that God creates, the way He intended them to work, and what He has built for us. It's the life we can't see, the life of development within ourselves, the "software" that produces the things we live within.

Sometimes we come across individuals or groups of people that try to disconnect us from the spiritual truth of God. They use their righteousness, or their granted authority, to wield religion against us, and to distort God's truth, often in order to gain control or to gather power for themselves, and obedience from us. This is spiritual abuse.

What happens in spiritually abusive settings? You become less of who you are supposed to be. You get injured, restricted, controlled, broken. You become less trusting of people, less relationally competent, unable to utilize your relationships.

What are key dynamics in a spiritually abusive context?

It is not relational. If something is happening where the emphasis is not primarily on making relationships work, and making love grow, and serving humanity, then you are probably in a place where good cannot happen. It is too much about performance and rules.

You feel like you are being controlled and have no freedom of choice. You are being forced to do things that you otherwise would not do. It is similar to a cult.

There is no forgiveness or grace. There is only judgment. You are feeling guilty, bad, judged, and condemned. For example, if you are struggling with addiction, your environment can treat you in two ways. One can invite you in and offer you help and support. The other will judge you and tell you that you are not welcome.

It is authoritarian. There is someone "on a pedestal" and treating everyone as less than. There are healthy ways to use authority to support others where everyone is seen as equals and there are abusive ways to use authority where the one "leader" leads by pushing everyone else down.

It is a closed system. Everything outside is bad,. We vs They. We are right, they are wrong. It is not open-minded.

Spiritually abusive environments are toxic and judgmental. Growth environments are forgiving and helpful.

To learn more about spiritual abuse, and how to put yourself in communities oriented around growth, healing, and truth, sign up for a trial of Boundaries.Me. We have courses that will steer you away from spiritual abuse and towards improvement.