Overcoming Resistance: How to Push Past Your Own Opposition to Growth

Have you ever had the experience of wanting to change or grow in some way, yet feeling a strong internal push-back? You're not alone. Resistance is a universal human experience. It's that part of us that wants to stay comfortable, safe and in control. And while its intentions may be good (to protect us), resistance often keeps us stuck and unable to move forward in the ways we desire.

As frustrating as resistance can be, the good news is that by learning to recognize and work with it, we can actually use it as a catalyst for tremendous growth and transformation. The key is to bring awareness and compassion to our resistance patterns, rather than trying to bulldoze over them or shame ourselves for having them.

So what does resistance look like? It can take many forms, but some common ones include:

• Procrastination or avoidance - putting off taking action on our goals
• Rationalization and excuse-making - coming up with reasons why we "can't" change
• Numbing out or distracting ourselves - using food, TV, social media, etc to avoid discomfort
• Lashing out or blaming others - making our problems someone else's fault
• Downplaying the importance of our desires - telling ourselves it doesn't really matter that much

If you find yourself engaging in any of these behaviors, congratulations! You've just identified a resistance pattern. The fact that you can name it is huge, because awareness is the first step to change.

So once you've spotted resistance, what do you do? Here's a framework I find helpful:

1. Acknowledge and accept the resistance. Denying or fighting it will only make it stronger. Instead, simply notice it with curiosity and kindness.
2. Dialogue with the resistance. Ask it what it's trying to protect you from. Thank it for its efforts to keep you safe. Explain your intentions moving forward.
3. Rally your support team. Share your goals and resistance patterns with trusted friends or mentors and ask for their encouragement and accountability.
4. Take small action steps. Resistance tends to make us feel like we need to change everything overnight. In reality, sustainable growth happens through tiny, consistent efforts. Focus on progress, not perfection.
5. Celebrate your wins. Each time you push past resistance in even a small way, acknowledge yourself! This builds confidence and momentum.

As an exercise, I invite you to think of one area where you've been feeling stuck or resistant to change. Write down your resistance patterns and then share them with a safe person. Make a commitment to take one small action step this week and report back to your support person. Remember to approach the process with tons of self-compassion. You're not trying to "get rid of" your resistance, but rather to befriend it and use it as a portal for growth.

The path of personal transformation is rarely a straight line. It's full of starts and stops, advances and setbacks. The goal is not to be resistance-free, but to keep showing up with honesty, vulnerability and willingness. As we do, we discover reservoirs of courage and resilience we never knew we had. We stop fighting against ourselves and start harnessing the energy of resistance to propel us forward into becoming our strongest, freest, most authentic selves.