Relationship Red Flags

"What is a relationship red flag? It's a problem or pattern of problems that will hurt or destroy the relationship if it continues to go unaddressed.

You can't ignore termites, or they will destroy your house eventually.

Red flags are signals that we can use to discern what areas of the relationship need some work. By recognizing that some or all of these problems may occur during the course of a long relationship, we can treat these signals as opportunities to strengthen or repair the relationship, which will make it stronger and more resilient, and grow the connection between you over time."

Key ideas:

"-All relationships have problems. It is how we respond to those problems that determine whether the relationship will survive and eventually thrive, or wither and fall apart.

-Red flags do not always mean that the relationship is doomed. It just means that there is some work to be done in a specific area. Seeing a red flag and interpreting it correctly, and acting accordingly to repair the issue will deepen your connection and give you a greater understanding of your relationship.

-Red flags: Feeling alone in the relationship, A loss of fueling, Distanced from your relationship's needs, Lack of emotional vulnerability, Loss of freedom, Limits are not respected, Loss of freedom to be real, Lack of forgiveness, Criticism for imperfections, Lack of accountability, Critical vs problem-oriented, Breaches of trust, Loss of challenge to grow, Loss of mission and purpose together, Loss of romance, Loss of structure, Freedom from other systems, Lack of supporting systems

-Having these problems for a day or a short period is not a relationship killer, but you get into trouble when they go on for a season or longer. They need to be resolved."