This is How to Put a Stop to Toxic Behavior

It's common to hear people say that others are "stuck in their ways" and sometimes we say it about ourselves. This phrase is often said with confidence and satisfaction because resistance to change brings comfort. This is because change can be painful and avoiding pain is a natural instinct. However, while it may be comfortable to stay in our current situation, it may not be what is best for us in the long run.

In order to create an ending and inspire others to do the same, it's necessary to tap into both the fear of the negative and the pull of the positive. The brain needs to understand that if we don't take action, something bad will happen, but if we do, we can achieve our desires. To break through the comfort of our current situation, we need to recognize that we are not meant to merely cope, but to thrive. This may involve confronting difficult realities and creating a sense of urgency to inspire change.

To create the urgency needed for progress, we must first make the threat to our future as real and immediate as possible. Our brains are naturally inclined to avoid pain and seek comfort, so we may try to medicate ourselves, delude ourselves, or distance ourselves from problems. But unless we confront the reality of our situation, we will never create the change that we need. This means acknowledging the negative consequences of not taking action and using that as motivation to inspire urgency.

To create the change that we need, it's important to be honest with ourselves. This may involve spending time alone and looking in the mirror, asking ourselves if we want to be lied to or told the truth. If we want to be lied to, there is no point in continuing. But if we want the truth, we need to sit down and confront the realities of our situation that we have been avoiding. This can be difficult, but it is necessary for creating the urgency and motivation needed for change.

After confronting the realities that we have been avoiding, it's important to stop making excuses and project into the future. This means visualizing ourselves having the same discussions and experiences in one month, six months, one year, two years, or even five years from now. We should try to picture, feel, and even smell what that would be like. We may already know what it's like because we are living it now. But by imagining ourselves living it for real in the future, we can create a sense of urgency and motivation to change. This will help us determine if we really want the future that we are currently headed towards.

To move towards forward progress, it's important to start by setting a deadline for ourselves to execute the change we want to make. High-performers know that a sense of urgency is necessary for any performance to happen. After setting a deadline, we should create a structure to ensure that it happens. This may involve planning out the time, resources, and other factors that we need. We may also want to get outside help, such as a coach or accountability partner, to support us in this structured process. By taking these steps, we can create the urgency and motivation needed to make our endings happen.

To ensure that we are making progress and not headed for a train wreck, it's important to regularly measure and evaluate what we want to grow. By being like an inspecting gardener and paying close attention to our progress, we can create healthy urgency to make quick endings before problems get too big. It's important to remember that not all numbers need to be happy, and sometimes planned deficits and slow growth are necessary. But by measuring and evaluating our progress, we can make sure that we are on an intentional plan and not headed for disaster.

Creating urgency around necessary endings is crucial for how we use our time and energy. If these are our main resources, then letting time pass without bringing urgent energy to change will ensure that our future is the same as our present. If we are currently stalled out, we need to create urgency so that action becomes the new normal. This may involve confronting difficult realities, setting deadlines, creating structures to support change, and regularly measuring and evaluating our progress. By doing this, we can break free from our comfort zone and create the endings that will allow us to thrive.