Our feelings, whether good or bad, are our property. They fall within our boundaries. Our feelings are our responsibility; others’ feelings are their responsibility. If other people feel sad, it is their sadness. This does not mean that they do not need someone else to be with them in their...
When is the last time someone made you feel guilty even though you know you shouldn't have felt that way?
Guilt is a difficult emotion. It's not actually a feeling the way that sadness, anger or fear are. It's our conscience punishing us by saying "You are bad."
Guilt comes mainly from how we...
When I was still doing my old radio show, a woman called into our program and said that she was going to visit her family for Christmas. She was depressed because she knew her grandfather would make things miserable, just as he always did. She dreaded hearing his criticism of her and her...
About 10 years ago, I was addressing an organization in the aftermath of a financial meltdown. We discussed why so many people were feeling down, defeated, and unable to perform at the levels they were used to. (It is amazing how just knowing that there is a reason for why you feel the way you do...
Amy called Tina late one night needing a friend.
“He’s gone,” Amy said between sobs. “Dad passed an hour ago.”
Tina was heartbroken for her friend. Though offering condolences and prayers seemed appropriate, Tina wanted to do more for Amy. She couldn’t take...
If you believe that you’re a responsible and loving person, it’s easy to assume that other people think like you. You think that they care about other people and how their actions affect those people. Since you have a concern about how what you do affects others, then it makes sense...
Look at your own life situation and see where boundary problems exist with your parents and siblings. The basic question is this: Where have you lost control of your property? Identify those areas and see their connection with the family you grew up in, and you are on your way.
Identify...
One of the most crucial elements someone can bring to their life is hope. Among the most powerful forces in the universe, hope gives energy, sustenance, and direction to people to keep going, and to win against all odds. With hope, we can endure almost anything, and certainly more than if we lose...
I have some questions for you.
Is someone else going to decide how next year goes? Is someone else going to stop you from living to your fullest potential?
Or... are you in charge?
That’s what I want for you. I want you to leave a trail of frustrated people in your wake in 2021. I...
If you had a controlling mom, you’ve most likely experienced problems in separation, autonomy, and individualization — becoming your own person. We’ll go through the necessary steps to repair yourself, but first, let’s clarify the real problem.
A controlling mom may be the...
The holidays can be a tough time for people that are feeling down. If you're not feeling holiday cheer, many people think you're a grinch.
But not everyone wants to “deck the halls” and sing “fa-la-la-la-la.”
Some people get the holiday blues every year, whether because of...
I want to share a story with you on how NOT to be ruled by fear.
"I know that I hold on to people too long, way past when I know I have to make a change," a CEO told me. "I have always done that, and it costs me."
"What are you afraid of?" I asked.
"I don't...
