Jason and Sara came to see me for premarital counseling. They wanted to prevent any unnecessary problems in their marriage as much ahead of time as possible.
This couple was especially concerned because each had been divorced. The devastation that the split-ups had played in their lives had made...
When you're in crisis, you won’t be able to make the bad news in the big picture go away quickly, but you do have control over yourself, and you can focus on the vital things of life immediately. Let's take a look.
1. Connect sooner, and more, with those whom you are close to. Every bit of...
Please keep in mind that this article is NOT meant to place blame on victims of abuse. It was written to address character weaknesses that lead to unfulfilling relationships.
We must find out what it is about us that causes us to make such poor, hurtful choices. The truth is that it is...
At some point in our lives, we feel envy. It’s part of the human condition, some more than others. Generally, the more we fill our lives and hearts with good things that are meaningful and are humble about how fortunate we are to have them, the more gratitude we feel and the less envy we...
I was at a friend’s house for dinner one evening when, out of the blue, their son turned to his parents and said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I got suspended from work for a week.”
“What happened?” his dad inquired. There was concern in his tone. It had been difficult...
Kellie had been working on major boundaries issues in her therapy for a while now. She was seeing progress in resolving responsibility conflicts with her parents, her husband, and her kids. Yet today she introduced a new issue. “I haven’t told you about this relationship before,...
Please keep in mind that this was written in the context of general relationship conflicts and is not placing blame on victims of abuse.
After 30 years in the profession of helping people, I have come to understand something: we cause much of our pain by the people we choose. In every kind of...
We don’t always see warning signs of a bad relationship. The “do not cross” sign is flashing, and yet we remain oblivious to the oncoming train that will mess up our emotional world.
But I’ll tell you what you can do. Be engaged in what’s going on in the...
You’ve heard this before: Every day, do something that scares you.
So, why is that a good idea? Well, first of all, let's make sure we are talking about the right kind of scared. Basically, your brain has no idea whether or not your feeling of scared is good or bad, accurate or inaccurate,...
When I first became a Christian, I remember a wise older man told me he wasn’t going to church on Easter. I was surprised, especially in my newfound excitement about the faith.
“What? Why not?” I asked.
“It’s amateur day,” he said. “People go who never go...
In a very real way, we have more than one brain. Or, at least more than one system in our brain. One of them “thinks” emotionally, and subjectively, and the other more logically and with reason and judgment. On a good day, they are partners and work together. It would not be far off...
There’s a lot of confusion about anger in our society. It’s usually seen as a negative emotion that someone needs to “get control” over. And in some instances, that is true. It can be destructive, but are we really giving it a chance to listen to what our anger tells us.
...
