The Law of Sowing and Reaping is one of the fundamental laws of boundaries. It states that there are consequences, both good and bad, for our actions. It is how we learn and grow. When we hold our breath, for example, our body begins to lose oxygen and we begin reaping what we have sown. This law...
We have been created and designed biologically, neurologically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically to trust. When trust is high, it gets all the juices flowing and everything runs well. When trust is low—well, you know what that’s like. When trust is broken, things are even...
Some people think love means never being allowed to say no. For example, having to choose between where to spend Christmas with the in-laws, unless you already agree: one of you will have to hear No. But that does not equate with a lack of love or care. We want to give love, but not give in...
Trust is fuel for connection. When trust is present, a relationship becomes a safe space where each person can invest their time, energy, and other resources and feel safe that it is a sound investment. One of the worst things for trust is to try to enforce control over another person....
Codependency is a pattern of unhealthy and potentially dangerous relationship behaviors that can turn your life upside down. Typically, one person is the dependent, and the other is the enabler. The enabler may often find themselves engaging in behaviors such as people pleasing, or find...
It will happen to nearly everyone at some point. You find yourself stuck in a relationship, maybe a romantic relationship, or a friendship, or a family relationship, with someone who continually makes you feel on guard, under threat, scrutinized, criticized, and sometimes even may put you in...
At the simplest level, resilience means you can withstand things. You can bounce back.
You can’t always control things. This world we live in has got a whole lot of stuff going on, and you’re not always going to be able to control what’s going to happen. The stock market will go...
Fear helps us to define our boundaries. We have to use this fear, rather than allow ourselves to be overcome by the fear. In order to do that, we need to understand the nature of our fears, and what they are indicating. Boundaries define what is our property to own, and what is not our property...
"What is a relationship red flag? It's a problem or pattern of problems that will hurt or destroy the relationship if it continues to go unaddressed.
You can't ignore termites, or they will destroy your house eventually.
Red flags are signals that we can use to discern what areas of the...
Some people struggle with the fact that they are not always the cause of their problems. This often hinders them from taking full ownership. A man whose company lays him off because of the economy may feel that he is owed another job because the layoff wasn't of his doing. Or a woman with a...
Sometimes we feel guilty without actually being guilty. We feel ashamed for things about which we need not feel shame. Why is there so much confusion around guilt and shame? Are guilt and shame ever useful, or good? Let’s explore the concepts of guilt and shame first, and then clear up the...
If you’re in therapy, or working on yourself, and you’ve spoken with other people about it (particularly family), you may find that after a while you’ll start to hear questions like:
- Aren’t you done with therapy yet?
- When will you be well?
- Isn’t it getting worse...
