In the words of Steven Covey, it’s important to “begin with the end in mind.” Let’s be clear about that here. What is it we are trying to accomplish? The simple answer is this:
Gain control.
We are not trying to gain control of other people or of all the circumstances or...
There are a thousand ways we humans have come up with to self-medicate, but they are all ultimately a trap of our own devising and lead to diminished lives. One executive I worked with used to medicate with retail therapy. When I asked her about it, she said, “This is how I medicate....
If you've tuned in to The Dr. Cloud Show this week, you've heard me talk about the knee replacement surgery I had last Thursday, and during my recovery, I've learned that all of the stuff we talk about on the show is so true, especially in a handful of areas.
I had surgery in the...
Have you ever heard yourself say, "Whatever possessed me to say yes to this in the first place? Why didn't I just say no?" Or, after negotiating a deal, have you ever thought, "Why didn't I ask for ___? I could kick myself!" Chances are, you're not alone, but if it happens, it poses a problem. It...
When you consider the past and come to grips with the fact that it is hopeless to expect something different in the future, then you have the kind of hopelessness that will motivate you to move from a mere wishing to real hope. How do you get this hopelessness?
You must take the past performance...
Whenever I have heard someone say “I don’t know what to do,” it usually means much more than that. The words imply that the dilemma is just one of information, as if knowing the “what to do” would make it all different. But the truth is...
If anyone had it together, it was Jason. He had a good job, beautiful wife and two children whom he loved. He exercised regularly and looked it, and he was always one to keep in touch with friends and family members.
But one day out of the blue, a deep depression hit Jason so heavily, he could...
Learning to be mature in self-boundaries is not easy. Many obstacles hinder our progress; however, God desires our maturity and self-control even more than we do. He’s on our team as an exhorter, encourager, and implorer.
One way to begin developing limits on out-of-control behavior is to...
Allowing someone to suffer logical consequences is another way of getting them to realize their need for grace. Ideally, we can do that by confronting them, have a difficult conversation and hope they have a willingness to face reality. But sometimes people cannot (or do not) hear the truth of...
In order for a rose bush to achieve its full growth potential, every good gardener knows that it must be carefully pruned. There are three circumstances in which a gardener prunes a rose bush: 1) when the bush produces more buds than it can sustain, 2) in order to remove parts of the bush that...
What is resistance? Resistance is our tendency to avoid growth. It’s our drive to keep the spiritual and emotional status quo. It’s our inclination to move away from provisions for our growth. And we all have it.
Many of the dynamics, which drive us to choose unsafe people or no...
When setting boundaries with someone, it’s important to differentiate between what you prefer and what’s actually wrong. Before you talk to someone about changing his behavior, figure out if what he is doing is really a “bad” thing or just something you don’t like.
I...
